His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
