I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
