yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i believe in u and ur pee
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
