Yo dont text me then not text me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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