is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
