people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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