and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
