I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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