He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
