After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
