I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
