Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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