it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
