You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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