I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
