She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
