she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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