so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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