all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
