Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
