Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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