remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
