speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
