I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Pants are for mortals
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
