so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
