some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Idk if I want to put a bra on
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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