Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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