we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There's even glitter on my cock...
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