That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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