Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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