You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
