you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
