Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
