He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize