Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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