I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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