its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
