Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
