So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
