'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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