My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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