I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
