I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
