you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
