this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
