dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
