im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
