I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
