She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
