whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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