Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
