I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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